Battlefield Alaska

She did not find herself when she thought she was lost

She did not whimper when life leaned on her back

She did not cave in when everything crumbled down

Sometimes when you feel like there is no hope, sometimes when you feel like the world swallowed you whole and spit you back up covered in dirt, this is when it’s a good idea to stand strong and keep your faith. I put my faith in Jesus.

I choose not to fight the battles thrown at me in life, I pray for my battles to be taken to a different battlefield, the spiritual plane where Jesus steps in and commands evil forces away, where there was darkness, He brought light. I am praying this for my home state of Alaska right now. We are loosing our young people to suicide at an elevated rate. In order to fight suicide we need to work together as communities and encourage our parents to spend more time with their children. The more effort and time a parent puts with healthy activities the less likely that child will take their own life. It’s the early ages of 0-7 years that is the most important time for parents to spend quality time and at the same time the child is being molded subconsciously into the unique individual they become. Included in that time is prayer. Pray for your children, even when they are no longer children. Why pick your battles when you don’t even have to fight them, that is the truth of the prayer warrior.

Pray vigilant, love and be love.


There was a sadness in her eyes. The tears seemed to never run dry…

I lost my younger cousin yesterday. He was such a happy kid growing up. He was best buds with my younger brother. They hunted birds and game growing up. When my son Zeth was born he held him and told me he would teach him to hunt when Zeth grew up. I rarely get to see any relatives nowadays, but you are all cherished deeply. I always called Christian Koosubacker or bud. You will be missed dear cousin 💕🙏🏼

Zeth and our cousin Christian 16 years ago.

My sincerest condolences to his parents, sisters and families ❣️

Alaskan Mukluk Yo-yo’s

For years I’ve only wished for my mom to realize her true potential and worth. For years I’ve had talks with an inebriated  mom who did not realize her own self worth. Now, for months I’ve had sober life discussions with my mom, the woman who gave birth to me. The woman who raised me to be the person I am today. Duke and I welcomed my mom’s arrival in May. Since then, she has watched my son Duke for me while I worked at a daycare. Not expecting a penny in return. Lack of hours led me back to my life long passion of sewing, creating beautiful works of art with my very own hands. I was struggling, I am struggling, only holding on to my faith in a better tomorrow. Funny thing is, tomorrow isn’t promised. I recently lost my neighbor growing up, who was a beloved aunt. I remember her flower bed vividly. Everyday I walked to school in the morning I would adore my Aunt’s flower bed, saying to myself I love those flowers, I want to grow flowers like her when I grow up. I did. I grew flowers again and again, never able to attain the beauty of my Aunt’s flower bed. So here I am, sewing with my mom everyday, casting my worries to God. He takes care of His own didn’t you know? Blessed memory to my Aunt and here are some pictures of my finished Mukluk Yo-yo’s. May your flower beds be full and your heart as well!

The girl from Nowhere

Growing up, my village was my world, some may consider where I am from
: nowhere. I am the Eskimo girl from nowhere.
Nowhere is where I want to be
Being there is where I can be free
Nowhere is where I’d rather be
Nowhere will always be,
A poem for my childhood: Guggeelee guggeelee, I see you! Guggeelee guggeelee! I will catch you. Let me be the one to set you free, Guggeelee. Out of the lake into the river, here I will help you swim better! Guggeelee guggeelee, I set you free, you can swim faster, thanks to me!
In our language, Inupiaq, we call minnows Guggeelees. As a child, I vividly remember catching these tiny fish in an old tin coffee can, usually red with Hills Bros. labeling.
My childhood was well spent, with much of the time being outside. I knew where all the best flowers grew. Even though I was afraid of bumblebees, I was still willing to pick flowers. It was one of my favorite things to do. Purple wild Iris, wild pink bumblebee flowers, yellow buttercups, white daisies and another white flower smaller in size, purple forget me not flowers, pink rosehip flowers, of course not to forget the pink fireweed blossoms and bluebell beauties.
When I go for hikes, I am always excited to make a bouquet of flowers and sometimes other plants and greens as well. Whatever is appeasing to my eyes. I call it the gift of an eye for beauty. Seeing the beauty in all of creation.
Perhaps you are watching a movie, paying very close attention to every detail, then imagining the brain behind what you are watching. The beauty, or the suspense, maybe the horror, or the joy, or bone felt sorrow of a scene. All so captivating and all from the mind of a beautiful unique human. Someone you most likely do not know. From the script to the costume designs to the area of the shoot of each scene. All so unique and different but all from the mind of a human.
Story telling has been our form of passing information down to the next generation so that they may have a better chance of survival. Now it is assumed, we will always survive. We are taught how to survive just from what is available as a food source in our area. I did not edit my journal entries from the seventh grade. I thought I would share a piece of me growing up in rural Alaska.
The Journal of Gertie Ann Johnson: 7th Grade
Yesterday, I went riding with Amber, Venessa and Cheryl. I also watched TV. And I did my homework. I’m writing with my left hand. I like school, I can’t believe it is almost over. I can’t wait till the picnic. I remember in 4th grade I had to write with my left hand. I think Chris is a lot more cuter. I don’t think he looks good with his hats on all the time. I am so happy I am not a lefty. I think Frank is cute as a little guy! Gertie Johnson Sorry so messy I wrote with my left hand.

March 20, 1997
Dear Journal, Hello, I wrote my letter to my pen pal. Gee, whenever I look at this boy I get butterflys in my stomach. I think Frank is perfectly fine. I really think Chris is a lot cuter, more fine, and more of an babe. I guess it is the hair-cut and perm. I think It is not right to sin. My mommy wanted to buy eggs but we are going to wait till they get bigger. Yesterday Jamie and I fed my dogs and her dogs, rode around and worked on our fort. It was fun.
Dear Journal, The fort Crystal, Jamie and I are building is almost done. It is so big Crystal can stand up in it, so can I and Jamie. Today is Friday. I do not know what I am going to do. I might ride around. I am still in school and have to go. Have a nice day, Gertie Johnson.
Dear Journal, Tomorrow I went to St. Micheal. This weekend I did a lot of things. On Friday I went to suerside with Cheryl and Jamie. Then Jamie and I worked on the fort and fed dogs. It is real sad. Yesterday someone trashed our fort, but just the ground. On Saturday I stayed at Dawns house all day with Crystal. We were cleaning and mating socks for her. I guess they are going to move to Washington. Well, we helped her pack. We also watched a couple movies while we were there. Then I played out, watched Eddie. Crystal rented it. It was a good movie. And that day my cousin Joey was going to Shaktoolik with Doy’s rig. The ice was thin and he sunk by blueberry. He tried to go into Ricky’s cabin because he was wet. Then my Dad and Doy went to find him. They helped him get into that cabin. Took off his clothes and warmed him up. Doy came back to town with our rig, got extra clothes and got Shane and Bruce. Shane and Bruce got out Doys snow machine and my Dad brought Joey back. Then he slept at my house that night. It was fun. Gertie J.
Dear Journal,
Yesterday was so fun! I went to St. Michael. At first it was boring but when Kellen, Greg and Louis showed up it was like going on a roller-coaster. We played basketball, went to the store and talked a lot. Out of Louis, Greg and Kellen, I think Kellen is the nicest. He was real nice to me but I don’t really like him. Denny was ok. We placed first for 7/8 and High School placed first also. When we went to go and get the trophy we all held it and screamed/yelled chickens. Their was all sorts of cute boys. Their was this cute boy and his name was Dennis. And their was Ryan Washington, the judge with a green vest and plenty more. At night Andri, Chels, Bev, Dana and I stayed up late and just talked. It was fun. Then this morning when I said goodbye to Kellen, Greg and Louis I hugged Kellen and Louis. It was a lot of fun, I would like to do it again some day. Gertie J.
Dear Journal,
Yesterday I slept all day. I never woke up until 5:00 am. I did my homework and fell back asleep. Then woke up at 7:45 and washed my hair. I can’t forget about St. Mike’s. I guess it will always stay in my mind. I just had a pop earlier and broke up with a friend. I miss all of my friends in St. Michael’s. It was really fun. Have a nice day! Gertie Johnson
Dear Journal,
Yesterday I watched TV and did most of my homework. Les is sick and ugly. Denny seems to be getting nicer (in a way). I wish I was president of the class. Jeremy is so immature! The way he acts and everything is so kiddish. He is bright (in some way) but his attitude. The most mature people in this class would be me, Chelsea, Wags, Isaiah (most of the time) and Gabe, maybe Angela. In school I guess I am mature. Man! I miss Kellen so much and Louis and Greg. Greg is so cute as a little boy. In St. Michaels their was this judge (not Brisco) that was a babe. He wore a green vest, I mean everyone thought he was cute, even Andri. Have a great week! Ps Happy Easter! Gertie Johnson (Hope you had a wonderful Easter -Mr. Ross)
Dear Journal,
My Easter was fine, but I feel bad because I never went to church. I ate lots of boiled eggs. Spent quality time with my family. Me and my sister Crystal hanged out with each other. So it was a great Easter. This weekend was fun. On Monday I did my homework. I can’t believe I never went to Suercide this week. I usually do. Today after school I need to finish my Africa HS. -Gertie J.
Dear Journal,
Today I killed a chicken. So did Andri, Sonya and Mr. Holmguard. Mr. H really killed it. He twisted it in circles. I started crying and almost pissed in my pants. But I didn’t. Andri is real brave, Sonya just laughed all the time and helped a bit. The bird flew away after and opened its eyes after we cut its neck. It saw Andri last. I hope she doesn’t have nightmares. I will never forget my Seventh grade year. -Gertie J. (Hope you’re ok. We should have video taped you girls. Mr. Ross)

Sewskimo Gertz Craft Table

Today was the 10th Annual Tribal Celebration and Health Fair in sunny Palmer, Alaska. There were so many talented artists along with informative health and educational opportunity booths. Door prizes consisted of unique hand crafted items donated by each table, bicycles for every age group, fishing poles, a grill and other Knik knacks. Outside there was a rock wall climbing set up and a bouncing set up along with a bubble station and chalk art. Drumming and beautiful Native dancing were ongoing and amazing! The foods served to our elders first included fresh Salmon and Halibut, moose stew, cheeseburgers with all the fixings, hot dogs, fry bread, rice, salmon spread, cole slaw, lemon cake and carrot cake. I was able to participate in judging the salmon spread contest. My favorite part was the hula hoop contest for all ages, including ages 80 and up. I had many items available at my table and received nice compliments. Many potential commission opportunities. My table consisted of slippers, mukluks, birch baskets, punk art and ornaments. I made everything except my mom made the seal skin women’s slippers, calf skin infant mukluks, the largest birch basket and the girl’s hat. The lucky rabbits foot found a lucky home along with some ornaments.



When the Celebration was over, everyone gathered around the drum in a prayer circle, with each persons hand laid on the person in front ending in a closing prayer. Knik, Cook Inlet, Chickaloon and other tribes hosted a great event. I plan on attending again!