Oct. 25, 2006
A pink kite is content when it is flying on a cloudless day. Then a gust of wind blows so hard the string moves to the end and breaks. The kite goes higher and higher and travels many distances and sees great lands, never has it been more happy. The wind dies down. The kite crashes to the ground. If a kite could bleed this would be the time. The kite is not sad because it knows the wind never stops blowing. But what is a kite without wind? Simply, a kite that does not fly.
I remember when I was a very young girl and the playground at the Unalakleet Schools had the big slide and a small slide along with a spider web and two hoops to the basketball court. It was winter and someone told me not to lick the metal otherwise my tongue would get stuck. I didn’t believe them so I tried it, and sure enough my tongue got stuck. After that I had a tendancy to take people for their word. I loved my classmates even if they weren’t my family, they were an every day part of my life during the week while we were in school. After we graduated that first year I was in college we lost the most beautiful classmate. She was amazing and I had very high hopes for her, she was my all star spiker in volleyball and our all star forward. She had moved to Nome to pursue her dreams and that August she was killed in Nome by a Police Officer. It was a beautiful soul taken too soon. I did not understand, I still don’t. I sent her parents a condolence card and framed an enlarged picture of my good group of friends. The next year another classmate passed away. And the next. Another the next year. Then again. And years following another classmate. It got my heart each time. I was cut down to the bone because they were all their own unique person and I always look for the best in people. For years I started to wonder if I was next. Then I started to think of the pain that brought on to their parents and thought how would I cheer them up? Though they died young, they had full beautiful lives. Any pain or inside struggles were no longer there. Death is a part of life. Each day is a gift because we are not promised tomorrow. I get in a fit, I call it daddy’s girl syndrome, if I don’t get what I want I don’t want anything. It’s a horrible frame of mind that developed and I am learning that a lot of times what I want isn’t what God had planned for me. When I follow my own way, I am led astray. When I lead myself astray, I feel no need to live another day. So I am reminded day and day not to lead myself astray. I am always a work in progress, and like I’ve stated in early posts, I’m the best example of what not to do. however, my experiences in life led to a lot of questions answered about life. The problem with my mind is it doesn’t stop asking questions. And that is ok. Every day I make the choice to give my hurt to Jesus. It took a lifetime to realize that I don’t have to live with the hurt. Neither do you. Love and be beloved.
My third born son. All my sons are my reason to try my very best to build a better and brighter future. My childhood wonderment for this big big world will never be lost. I simply refuse to grow up.
There is the story of the bridge operator and his only son. His job was to raise and lower the bridge over the river so that the train that crossed it had safe passage. His son went with him to work one day. This father loved and adored his one and only son. He was only seven and fascinated with his dad’s work. The bridge operator was alerted when to drop or raise the bridge. His son went close to the bridge and his dad followed behind him. As the father came closer to his son without notice his son fell in a hole. This hole was a dangerous hole because when the bridge was lowered this hole was filled with steel to keep the bridge in place. His father had to work quickly to get his son out of this hole. The boy did not get hurt but he was stuck not knowing the danger he was in. Then the lights started flashing, a train was coming. The father had to choose to let his son live but all the people on the train that was coming would perish. His one and only son or hundreds of men, women and children. Tears started to stream down his fathers face as the boy did not know what was wrong. The father reached for his son but there was no time. He had to make a choice. Across the river he saw the train coming, he looked at his son and he told him he loved him and that everything would be ok. He pushed the button and sacrificed his one and only son so that this train filled with so many people would live another day. This story represents the sacrifice God has made with His one and only son Jesus. He sent the one and only perfect man to come and live and then die only so that others may live. Jesus willingly sacrificed Himself because He was His father in living form. I am thankful each day to be alive, only when I remember the true sacrifice that was made so that I may live, not just on this world, but eternally in heaven. So I have to choose today to be grateful for a life I do not want to endure. We are given the choice every single day to live a life of love or to live a life of death. A life of love is found through Jesus any other life is death. Choose wisely.
One of my favorite things to do is to find the hardest questions in life and seek the answers. Sometimes the answers are laid out for everyone but the lack of understanding leads to false truths, lies embedded in something as simple as a Disney movie. One of my first college papers had to do with the evil of Disney, so my sons grew up on Veggie Tales. Discovering the truth takes deep digging. Vaccinations were intended to help man but now they are a game of profit. Leading to lifetime customers. The best antibiotics are found in honey. The one thing governments tell us not to give our children. The bee goes out to gather the goodness of the earth and in turn make the only edible that never decays and is edible forever. Why no one is doing a study on the capacities of honey as a natural antibiotic will no longer be a question, it will happen. The one land in America where it is sovereign is native land, this is where hemp fields will be planted, revolutionizing the textile and fuel industry and in turn healing the land of toxins. You will never receive the answers unless you ask the questions. I have so much to learn and experience as all of us do. But my mind is made beautiful through Jesus, just as my heart is.