Always ask Questions

One of my favorite things to do is to find the hardest questions in life and seek the answers. Sometimes the answers are laid out for everyone but the lack of understanding leads to false truths, lies embedded in something as simple as a Disney movie. One of my first college papers had to do with the evil of Disney, so my sons grew up on Veggie Tales. Discovering the truth takes deep digging. Vaccinations were intended to help man but now they are a game of profit. Leading to lifetime customers. The best antibiotics are found in honey. The one thing governments tell us not to give our children. The bee goes out to gather the goodness of the earth and in turn make the only edible that never decays and is edible forever. Why no one is doing a study on the capacities of honey as a natural antibiotic will no longer be a question, it will happen. The one land in America where it is sovereign is native land, this is where hemp fields will be planted, revolutionizing the textile and fuel industry and in turn healing the land of toxins. You will never receive the answers unless you ask the questions. I have so much to learn and experience as all of us do. But my mind is made beautiful through Jesus, just as my heart is.

Happiness is not found in a bottle.

The dangers of antidepressants are well known to me. I know they reveal memories to those who are not ready to remember them. God reveals childhood memories that are blocked when it’s time to heal. The chemical interaction in the brain with serotonin that is not natural, is a mimicked happiness that is false. That happiness is found only through Jesus. So, with antidepressants, suicide will be far more prevalent. Man cannot recreate the joy and love of being saved eternally. Depression occurs when a person 1. Doesn’t know Jesus and doesn’t accept Him in their Heart 2. If you have Jesus already and you are depressed it’s because you are following your own selfish desires and not the will of God. The will of God is so simple to understand for me: Love. Above all Love God.

I tried three different antidepressants and the last gave me the inability to cry while on them. Crying is a natural emotion of life that is not meant to be taken away. Tears should never be taken for granted. If you are depressed and on antidepressants it is very important not to stop them suddenly. That is far dangerous than you might think. It will cause a psychotic break that makes the mind feel lost beyond control.

Sometimes it’s hard to be happy in the world that exists today, but each individual is tasked to live the best life they can and the best life is a life with Christ. A life without Jesus is a life of death, purpose is found in Jesus and your heart transforms when you accept Him. It is so very simple to invite Him into your heart.

Dear God,

Thank you for sending your one and only son Jesus Christ, the messiah, Yessuah, the one and only perfect man to walk the earth. Your perfect gift who died for each and every single one of us to wash away our sins and the evil in the world. I willingly accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Savior. This leap of faith of inviting Christ into my heart I pray to you.

Amen

If you said this prayer with your heart I give all the glory to God. You are now a child of God and it will take learning through the Bible. Start with the New Testament and every answer to every question in life is found in the Bible, one only needs to look.

My Mother’s Love

IMG_0492I’ve been hurt the most by the people I loved the most, I try to love everyone the same but that causes so much hurt. I choose everyday to replace that hurt with hope and that is only through Jesus. Because Jesus is my hope and the number one love of my life. Without Him, I would cease to exist. My mom has taught me love, just as your mother has taught you love. I begged my mom while she was alive, to stay alive after her seventh attempt at suicide. She is an alcoholic and alcohol is a tool of the evil one. It affects the entire body except the cochlea. When you drink you are physically pushing out the Holy Spirit. Just as when you smoke weed, the frontal lobe of the brain ceases to function. This is the part of the brain that makes decisions. I was delivered from Alcohol this past November and I was delivered from weed on Christmas Day. It took a lifetime for me to realize I love my life in Christ and any other life is literally death. My mom attempted to stab me and slashed the back of my coat seven times. She came after me with a rifle to shoot me and I restrained her. She was in and out of my life growing up. All this because she was under the influence of alcohol. She can run fast and she is running from her past. Her life was far harder than the life I have had. As a young girl she was raped by a family member. She ran and ran and ran till her little legs gave out beneath her. She cried oh she cried. She saw Jesus Himself that day. He appeared to her. His love for her will never cease. She won’t talk about it. It is beautiful her soul. I will never give up on her and I will give her her hearts desire which is her very own home. I will give that to her if I have to build it with my bare hands. She is still a alcoholic and homeless in my village. I pray and talk to her every day. It was God Himself who told her in a dream that the only way her children will be safe is to dedicate them to God. When her children suffer her heart suffers, that is what she means when she says she wishes she never gave birth to us. It hurts her heart to see us grow up in poverty, but we are humble hearts willing to serve others because we know hard work. That was our lot in life, but we are far blessed beyond measure for we have the heart of our mother who’s heart was touched by Jesus Himself. The one unforgivable sin and there is only one is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. So I do not doubt in the works of our Father for that is unforgivable. I forgive my mom so easily because she is my heart just as Jesus is. Her ways are sinful because she may know Jesus but hasn’t fully accepted Him into her heart. The ways of the world destroy the heart of the innocent and those are the deeds of the evil one who doesn’t deserve any recognition for I do not fear anything other than God Himself. Every single day I subconsciously put on the armor of God, I was always willing to go to battle I just never felt the need to till now. My weapon is love and it is understanding of love that is powerful through Christ. I am the weakest soul but I draw my strength only from Jesus and through Him all things are possible. God is willing to lend his ear to all but He listens to those who don’t ever stop loving Him through trials and tribulations. In order to love Him fully you need to understand love. So when I say love and be beloved, it’s as simple as that.

Sweet song of a chickadee.

I spent every other weekend in High School traveling to a different village. Our sports teams use our School Districts personal plane for travel. I enjoyed traveling to different villages and always met wonderful people. A lot of natives have a certain addiction to soda pop. There was a basketball tournament in Tanana, Alaska and the classroom our team was staying in had a livestream video from the gymnasium. I was trying my best to make impossible shots from way beyond the three point line. Shots I’ve seen one of my favorite basketball players from an adult tournament in Unalakleet called the jamboree make in game winning manner. I had a lot of favorite players and loved to observe each one. I was thirsty so I went to the soda pop machine and bought one Hawaiian Punch and one Sprite. I didn’t know that my team was watching me through the video footage and they witnessss me drink both cans back to back thinking they were both soda pops. Unhealthy I am sure but what happened next was a fiasco. The senior girls, which most except my cousin, were mean willed toward me, played a prank on me. They put a sign on the soda pop machine and it said “if you see Gertie Johnson with a soda in her hand take it away. She is not allowed to have pop.” It was a cause for concern because some adults thought I was a severe diabetic or something having to do with health issues. I laughed it off and let my one senior friend take a picture of me next to the Gertie sign. It was made very clear who Gertie was but the reasoning behind a simple joke was unfounded. Certain aspects where I failed in my values are where I struggle most. But where I struggle and through my struggles Jesus has a plan. Not just for me, for every single one of you. We are tasked to be beaming rays of love, so consuming everyone wants it and they ask about it and in turn accept the love of Jesus. God does the work, we are simply the workers. We get what we give out as far as matters of the heart go. We go through what we are capable of, so if you had a very tough upbringing or your adult life has more rough patches than you can count, God has a plan for you beyond great measure. A testimony is the life you lived before you were saved, the life while saved and every struggle had reason. When my brother commited suicide I ran into the woods and fell to my knees crying. It’s as if my tears were melting the snow around me. I was yelling and screaming “why” why why why. My heart could not take it. Then I heard it clear as day “only God knows why” I was tasked to not ask questions I’m not going to get the answers to. So I stopped asking why. Then the chickadees came and surrounded me and sang a beautiful song. I knew I had to be strong. My family would need me as much as I need them. He is a constant on my mind, how can he not be. But I remember him in love, the same love I miss my older sons with while they are at school in Ohio. Don’t give up on your story, make it beautiful through Christ because that is the only happy ending. God has a plan for you. The baby I begged for to fill a void in my heart is my son Duke. Love and be beloved. IMG_3813