A leap of faith.

Last night was my first time in a woman’s shelter. The staff and the women treated Duke and I with respect and dignity. I got all the necessary paperwork I needed to file for child support and much needed assistance. I’ve always refused help my whole life or usually took the hard route rather than receiving help. My perspective has changed drastically in 24 hours. I am grateful for help. I am thankful for God to have paved a way in my most dire moment in life.

In less than 24 hours we have our own home now. I am beyond excited and beyond ecstatic for our new life back in civilization! Living in isolation and oppression lifted a veil and because of my faith and putting my hope in Jesus my life is on a far better path. Instead of being in the depths of despair and oppression we are truly free at last. I want to shout free at last free at last thank God we are free at last.

If you kept Duke and I in your prayers we are truly appreciative! God will only continue to work wonders in our lives and I pray yours as well. Never loose faith, never loose hope and never loose your smile!

Sneak peek! And snow!

A mock up of the first Children’s Book that I will publish, the only suggestion I had was that both names need to be the same size! This is an exciting transition in my life. From the Ashes a new woman emerges and I will only continue to strive to be the best mom I can be! Peace be with you! I am so excited to be collaborating with my good friend and classmate! I hope this is the first in a series of books I have already written!

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Emotional Abuse is abuse.. get out!

I decided for myself to no longer be with an emotionally abusive person. I was made to believe that I was the one doing the abuse when, in fact, my behavior is a cry for help. I was told if I broke up with my boyfriend that “he would kill himself.” That statement alone is an abusers way of keeping a vulnerable person at bay. I have been seeking self help regiments to better my quality of life, for myself. This could only do so much. I have money saved up to leave, but no running vehicle to do so. He did hit me once this past year, he said it was unintentional and that he woke up from a sleep and it was instinct. When someone uses their financial advantage against say, a stay at home Mom, such as myself, that is abuse. I was willing to leave the first time he hit me. He was the first man in my life to lay hands on me. I don’t stand for any type of abuse, I never have. Granted I did make my own mistakes in this relationship I should not be forced to live in shame for the rest of my life, that is why I admitted to my mistakes, so I would no longer be ashamed. Living in my own shame almost led to suicide, something I’ve been against my whole life. I only ask for prayers for this endeavor of leaving an abusive partner. I believe in the power of prayer and the first step is leaving the situation. I have until the next week to leave, where there is a will there is a way and I pray for God to provide a way. Amen.

Seven Blue Elk

One of the most captivating dreams I’ve had took place many years ago. I was in a valley in the winter on a snowmobile riding fresh powder. Funny thing is the “snowmobile,” which where I’m from we call snow-machines, was an old enticer model. It was old but sturdy and reliable. I came to the base of an open hill and out of the top of the hill came a herd of seven bull elks. They were majestic and powerful and in my dream I knew my eyes had to be deceiving me because who heard of blue elk? Most of my dreams are vivid and feel real. I felt pretty small when they started down the hill in a V formation. It was intimidating watching them go through the snow with ease and my heart was racing. I waited for the last minute to rev up the old rig and it gave out. I felt like my life was in danger but to my surprise the leader of the blue elk juked left from my stance and the rest of them followed. It was so realistic and I never did figure this dream out. I had never seen elk before besides on tv and I had never heard of blue elk. I like insight from others so have at it.